OMTL - 3
Our theme through the month of July is One Month to Live - Thirty Days to a No-Regret's Life.
If you’re reading along, you should either have just completed chapters 9 to 15, or you can read those this week.
SERIES TEXT - Psalm 90:12 "Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."
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Review - Live Passionately!
Focus, Determination, Intentionality are keys.
People of passion are -
Willing to do something drastic,
Ready to drag obstacles out of the way,
Able to live with the unexpected, and
Creating places where God displays His glory.
A Person seeking to live with No Regrets Will Choose to
Love Completely!
As we begin this morning, I know that given such a familiar topic, some of you might be tempted to drift off into daydreams because you’ve think you have heard it all before. Perhaps you have, but I will tell you this - we can all use a refresher course!
Love - at least the kind of love the Bible teaches - is not easy, simple, or cost free! It would be easy to love if everything was perfect in relationships, wouldn’t it?
Wouldn’t love be easy if she was always in a good mood, or if he would just learn to show a little tenderness?
Truthfully, every relationship in our lives:
parent-child, business partnerships, friendship, marriage, with that next-door neighbor, Christian to Christian - is a relationship involving imperfect people. The paradox about love is this - the closer we get to another person, there are more possibilities that exist for conflict, which can become destructive.
Relationships are a lot like a roller coaster, aren’t they? There are steep hills, quick drops, unexpected stops, dark tunnels, even hair pen curves. and feel like the whole relationship is going to come off the tracks. Coasters don’t because there are safety mechanisms built into the machine. Tragically, human relationships do come apart, and when they do, the wreckage is terrible to behold!
Sometimes it is on the scale of a war where millions perish because the desires of two nations collide!
Sometimes it is on the scale of a church, where factions forget love and go at one another viciously.
Sometimes it is on the scale of marriage.
Ill.-Did
Did any of you see that news story this week about the guy in Connecticut
who had come to the day when the sheriff was going to come and evict him
from his home because of a divorce decree? Richard Shenkman took his ex-
wife hostage, held her for 13 hours, then burned down their million dollar.
His ex-wife escaped only by pulling a bolt from the wall and fleeing the
flames. What a tragic tale of desperation, selfishness, and love gone wrong!
So what can counter such a flood of hatred? How do we come to love completely?
Text - 1 John 4:7-11
The most basic principle in that passage is that we only truly love when we experience the love of God! I am sure that sometimes we miss the point because we are confused about what love really is.
A lot of people get sexual attraction mixed up with genuine love. Sorry to tell you, but even dogs feel the stirring of hormones. It’s a kind of love, but it is not the love of which I’m speaking today, a love that builds strong, sacrificial relationships. Too many people today act like dogs, chasing one person after another that they find attractive, reducing love to lust!
Some do a bit better and think that having shared emotions and experiences, like a family does, is what genuine love is all about. Yes, it is a great feeling to be part of the pack, whatever that pack is- a club, a church, a fire company, family, or gang! But that’s not the total picture about love!
"This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins." (1 John 4:10, NLT)
∙ Love that leads to a no-regrets life is God-birthed, only possible in our lives as we accept His love, believe what He says about our worth, and His sacrifice to bring us to Himself. Agape is modeled on the love that Christ expressed towards us in reconciling us to our Father.
In a few moments we’ll talk more about some of the qualities of that love, which the Bible calls, agape.
It can be a very steep climb from where we are to where we want to be in our relationships. It’s like a trek through a mountain range. As I was thinking about this, I was remembering the trip that Bev and I took to Colorado in 2005. We spent a week seeing the REAL mountains that surround Colorado Springs. The hills that we here on the East Coast call mountains just do not make the cut when compared to those that tower to 14,000 feet. In any case, there are several steep peaks that we have to climb in our pursuit of love.
First - there is Mountain of Mis-understanding.
Misunderstanding that destroys any semblance of love in a relationship often develops out of a silly idea that arises when we find somebody we like. We think, I love him/her because “He/She is just like me! We like all the same things, we even think the same thoughts.” Nice, but silly! There is just one YOU. No one has your unique personality, your combination of experiences, or your opportunities.
Ill.- Bev and I met each other and felt that attraction that led us to think - “He/She is just like me!” We came from similar social standing, had a similar intellect, were similarly educated at Christian colleges, attended very similar churches as we grew up, were about the same age.... but we were not married for even one year before we found out that we were two VERY DIFFERENT people!
Let’s have a little fun for a moment.
Men and women are really from different planets, don’t you know? Somebody more clever than I made a list of 10 things every married man wished his wife would understand about him:
10 - If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and the way you heard made you mad or sad,
we meant the other way!
9- Just learn to work the toilet seat. Be a big girl and just put it down without making a fuss.
8- We’re not always thinking about you; sad, but true. We think about many other things.
7- When we go anywhere, what you choose to wear is always just fine. Please don’t ask ‘cause you’ll make us lie because we know how much pain the truth would bring us.
6- Please just tell us when you’re venting. We think problems are meant to be solved and naturally we won’t cry with you like your girlfriend does. We will try to fix it.
5- Please talk only during commercials especially during the play-offs!
4- We don’t need to stop and ask someone for directions. It’s not manly!
3- We scratch itches, ‘nuff said, right?
2- We don’t read minds. God only knows how badly we wish we could, but we can’t and our failure to do so is only proof of our humanity, not our lack of concern.
1- IF we ask, ‘what’s wrong?’ and you say, “nothing!” We will take your words at face value. We know you’re lying but we’re simply not willing to go through the hassle of dragging it out of you!
I’m sure that Bev could answer that list with one of her own... but not today.
Point is, misunderstandings do hinder real love! And those misunderstanding are not usually very funny.
Second - there is Mountain of living Me-First.
Here’s how Jesus lived - and He’s our Model -
“But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:26-28, NLT)
In another passage disciples are told: “Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.” I John 3:16
How’s your serve, disciple? Do you seek to serve or are you living at the peak of Mt. Me-First?
Are you quick to defend your honor, ready on a moment’s notice to take issue with anyone who dares to step on turf you have determined to belong to you?
The natural (can I say - sinful?) thing is to think ‘me-first!’ It needs to be conquered before genuine love can flourish.
Third - there is Mountain Mistake!
No matter how hard you try, you will fail at some point in your effort to be loving. And, others will fail you! It’s just a fact of life. Anger is toxic in those situations. Emotions will escalate. Love will be buried under a torrent of hateful words - which once spoken - can never be recalled. Even an apology can never erase the memory of what was said or done in anger.
When people make mistakes, it is easy to become offended and the next step after offense is bitterness. Bitterness is a terribly toxic emotion that poisons every part of your life. That is why the Word tells us - "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice." (Ephesians 4:31, NIV)
This mountain range with these three peaks - Mt. Misunderstanding, Mt. Me-Frst, and Mt. Mistake exists in every relational landscape. Gazing out on those three peaks, we could conclude that love is just a theme for songs, the hope of the naive, an unattainable goal - and we would be terribly wrong!
Love may not look like we thought it would look - in fact I can assure you it will never look like what you expected! That church that appeared a ‘perfect fit’ for your spiritual gifts, may turn out to have a gossip that tests your limits of patience at every turn. That person that you were absolutely convinced would be the best ministry partner may turn out to be nothing but a big talker, whose endless refusal to produce frustrates you.
I know of few marriages that become what each partner thought it would be. The person we marry in the first blush of love is a much more complex human being than we could have known.
That’s when we start to realize that love is a series of choices and that we will have to climb the peaks of Misunderstanding, Me-First, and Mistakes.
But we don’t have to do this alone! Mountain climbing of the major peaks is not a solo effort. When a person wants to climb Everest or the rock faces of the Rocky Mountains, they have a team, people whose skills they trust, for they put their lives in each other’s hands.
As we prepare to scale the heights of love, we will need some equipment!
Bring along the Rope of Acceptance!
The Bible says, "Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God." (Romans 15:7, NIV) Kerry Shook who authored the book we’re reading this month, writes - “Acceptance means we stop trying to change others and start cherishing them!” (REPEAT THAT)
“But, Pastor, I just can’t overlook their problems and sins.” True enough, there is a time to ‘speak the truth in love.’ However, I am convinced that we earn the right to do that by loving first, then speaking! True acceptance is only possible when we are totally secure in the love of Jesus! When we are secure, we can say, “Tell me about that” and really listen to the answer.
For example, the Christian church makes a lot of noise about homosexuality. The Bible is clear about that sin, but how many of us have ever really listened to a person who is struggling with sexual identity issues long enough to understand how they feel, the kinds of emotional struggles they face?
Christ Jesus accepted people who were sinners. He ate dinner with them and the religious people condemned Him for it, but amazingly, His acceptance created the opportunity for Him to bring about life transformation. Love cannot exist apart from acceptance.
Keep a good supply of Consideration!
Here’s how the Bible says it: "Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too." (Philippians 2:4, NLT) One of my favorite books is Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Covey urges us to learn empathy. He says, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood!”
Before you petulantly have a temper tantrum because “NOBODY IS LISTENING TO ME!” - examine your life to see IF you are listening with consideration for others.
As we climb life’s mountains, a little consideration will go a long way towards preserving love.
Work constantly at Cooperation!
This week, here at the Assembly I saw the most beautiful display of cooperation. About 40 people led by Laura Deeney came together to create a fun, Bible oriented week of interactive learning for about 120 children!
The ancient poetry of the Psalms comes to mind.
King David saw the people of God getting along and doing His work. He wrote:
"How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!
It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard,
running down on Aaron's beard, down upon the collar of his robes.
It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion.
For there the Lord bestows his blessing, even life forevermore." (Psalm 133, NIV)
Perhaps the metaphors he uses are not clear to you.
The fragrant oils used in the sacred ceremonies of ordination were poured on the head of the priest and the smell filled the area! Everyone was enveloped in the experience.
Mount Hermon, the highest peak in Northern Israel, was the place from which the waters of the Jordan flowed, bringing life to the desert areas of Mount Zion in Jerusalem.
David's point is that when God's people work together, sharing grace, loving - it's a 'WOW' experience, the best of the best. Are you cooperating, seeking to build unity?
Cooperation definitely makes the trek through those mountains towards love easier.
Understand the value of Commitment!
What a word! I could have spoken on this subject alone for this entire message. With our 30 second attention spans and our love of novel experiences, commitment is a foreign concept to many. A person who understands God’s love and who is seeking to show that love, will never think of another person as a ‘throw-away.’ There are no disposal relationships for those who truly love!
Are you committed in love? It will require the next quality in great quantities.
Stay tethered to one another with Forgiveness!
"Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." (Colossians 3:13, NLT) Forgiveness is not an option for those who want to enjoy the love of God. Over and over again, the Word teaches us that forgiveness triggers forgiveness - from God, from others.
I can tell from personal experience that forgiveness brings freedom. As long as you hold out for your dignity to be respected, as long as you insist on justice now, you remain the slave of the person you hate.
Hand the debt to God. Give the Lord the whole thing and trust Him to sort it out.
"Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.” Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he’s thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness." (Romans 12:19-20, The Message)
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Close:
It is simply inconceivable that anyone could ever come to the end of life and say,
“I loved too much!”
So, it’s time, once again, to ask the clarifying question:
“What would I do if I had just 30 days to live?”
Then, start to climb those mountains to reach the land where love exists.
Conquer Mt. Misunderstanding, leave Mt. Me-first behind, climb and leave Mt. Mistake.
Don’t forget your equipment for the trek:
Acceptance, Consideration, Cooperation, Commitment, and Forgiveness.
And remember this above all: true love is birthed in us as we receive God’s love by faith!
Lord, none of us can love apart from knowing Your love. We don't know how to love very well. The evidence is all around us: wars, divorce, family stress, competition; but thank You for Your example in Jesus Christ. Thank you Lord, for coming to walk with us, be one of us, and for showing us how to love.
You were so disturbed by our brokenness that You left the perfection of Heaven to be with us. God may we become so disturbed by the brokenness in our world, in our community, in our homes and in our neighborhoods that we would be willing to leave the comfort of our own lives, of our own homes and to be with people.
Teach us how to love completely. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.
You have just heard a message on love.
You can say, “that was interesting” and do nothing or you can start the trek!
What are you going to do about it?
Some of you have been on the sidelines for a long time and not in the game, really loving completely the people in your life, the people in the world and God wants you to join an army of compassion.
Washington Assembly of God is an army of compassion. This is our base, but we are an army of compassion going throughout the world to make a difference. Our ministries are making such a difference, and as a part of our family, God can use you in a powerful way.
Our motto is that we ‘teach people to say ‘Yes,’ to God’s plans for their life.
Do you want to say yes to God?
Take a step of faith this morning, and give Him total control.
“Here’s my life, Jesus. Love me, forgive me, lead me, and use me.”
When you say yes and you get involved just a little bit God is going to use you.
BENEDICTION -
"Live in peace with each other. Encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone.
Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else. Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through.
May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it." (1 Thessalonians 5:12-24, NIV)
Amen
Jerry Scott, 2009
with thanks to One Month To Live, Kerry Shook